11/11/11: a Good Day to Count Your Many Blessings

Count them one-by-one...


Today was Veteran's (#1) Day, so I enjoyed a fantastically free Friday (#2) and stayed in my PJs until 4:00 (#3) doing absolutely nothing work-related (#4).  (No, I'm not sharing photos of that, something that you can add to your blessings count.)

Nothing short of fantastic describes the fall foliage (#5). 

Glad that I took my camera (#6) on this brisk and cloudless day for a bike ride (#7) along the newly completed

and mapped Fall Line Trace (#8)

with the best biking buddy ever (#9), Cindy.

Patsy

My family and I lost a dear, dear life-long friend yesterday. I really don't have my thoughts together enough  to write about Patsy yet. For now, here are some pictures of the Luttrells and the Myricks spanning about 50 years.

Letting Go of the "Friday Nights"

 For the past 40 years my parents' core group of eight couples has celebrated Friday nights together - usually eating at a local restaurant and later gathering at one couple's home for dessert. They have also traveled together frequently: Europe, Yellowstone, Alaska, Sea Island, and assorted cruises. More than dining and traveling companions, they are, of course, close lifetime friends. The children of the group also formed friendships, and some of us refer to our parents collectively as the Friday Nights.

First Henry, and then Bill, Ross, and David passed away, leaving four widows who have formed a sub-group. As adult children, we have  had a hard time saying goodbye to each of these Friday Nights. At the funerals when our eyes have met, I have seen my own unspoken fear reflected back to me.

Early this first day of 2010, my mother (far right) called with the news that Betty (second from left)  had died an hour earlier - another victim of Alzheimer's Disease. A few days ago Mother visited Betty at the nursing home, as she has done faithfully during the course of this disease. This morning she described her old friend to me: vibrant, sweet, smart, and an excellent mother to her bright, independent children. My mother grieved her lively friend but released her suffering friend - modeling friendship for me: love, faithfulness, and grace.

Faithful Friend

My father (left) and his first friend, Lawrence (right), have known each other from their very earliest years growing up in the St. Elmo area of Columbus. After Lawrence's family moved out to the country, Daddy visited the "Cheney Place" and enjoyed riding horses and playing with his friend on their farm. They've remained friends for 82 years.

Now, Lawrence has Alzheimers' Disease. In sad irony, Reba, his wife and stalwart, seemingly healthy caretaker for this disease's duration, died last month, shortly after a surprise lung cancer diagnosis. Lawrence does not know that she is gone.

For several hours every Monday, Daddy sits with Lawrence at the nursing home  - feeding him, getting him water, making him comfortable, trying to converse with him. I know that this must be incredibly hard for my father, but he is glad to be there for his friend, even though his friend no longer knows him.

Today Daddy made an extra trip to the nursing home to visit Lawrence and tried several different ways to content his old friend.  He remembered that Lawrence liked ice cream - a lot - and went to find some for him. After something of a hunt, the staff produced a cup of strawberry ice cream, which Daddy fed to him. Lawrence eagerly ate all of the dessert. And then he cried. My dad's eyes welled up in telling me about it. "He cried because he enjoyed that ice cream." Probably true, but I think that Lawrence cried because, at some level, he knew that he was loved.

SLP Friends

Farewell to 2009 with fun friends, fun lunch, fun times.

Grace

Last night when my Blackberry buzzed next to the keyboard where I was working, I reflexively punched the button to read the incoming text from Uschi:

Dec 21, 2009 6:57:06 PM

do you have something planned for dinner tomorrow?
Thinking that she was planning a girls' night out, I answered back with a question:

Dec 21, 2009 6:59:09 PM

Nooo, what's up?
Almost immediately the reply came back:

Dec 21, 2009 6:59:19 PM
I would like to bring you dinner if that's ok...It's just some german stuff. How many people do you have?


That's my sweet friend, Uschi - always surprising me with her easy-going generosity and thoughtfulness: grace exemplified. When I grow up, I want to be as gracious and kind as she.

Tonight, after her busy day as owner of BareWare Pottery Studio, she and second (of five!) son Patrick delivered a German feast . Oh, my goodness! Such bounty! Wiener Schnitzel, spaetzle, cabbage, salad, and (drum roll, please) tiramisu! Just OMG! Did I also mention that everything was delicious? Have a look:

Queens Christmas Brunch, 2009

A much-anticipated, long-standing tradition, the Queens Christmas Brunch, did not disappoint. Superlatives: too lame and too few; explanations: excessive. Click on collage to enlarge.

Idle Hour Park Walk

I think that Laurie was on target with her estimation of the duck/geese population at Phenix City, Alabama's Idle Hour Park: hundreds! Resting on the banks, strutting across the road, dozing under the trees, paddling across the lake, and even following us around the loop road, great groups of them seemed to have imprinted on us. Rather quickly we made a habit to look down at the pavement, in order to dodge slick spots that they left in their wake.

Planning to document the afternoon, I snapped away with my camera. The goose close enough to me for a good picture refused to look my way. Put your hand out there like you've got some bread, Laurie. Glad to be anywhere on a Friday afternoon except logged into Clarity, Laurie humored me. But, instead of looking up, the stubborn goose commented with a disgusted hiss at our ruse, doggedly pecking away at whatever delicasy he/she (have no idea) had found on the banks of  Moon Lake where we'd gone to "walk it off" after work.

Our plan had been to burn some calories and chalk off one more aerobic session on our fitness to-do list. Laurie suggested Idle Hour as a different walking spot, and I was eager to give it a try. I'm afraid that I ruined our exercise plans, stopping every few feet to take a picture or to laugh at a funny Laurie observation. We had only walked about a half-of-a-mile when I left to meet friends for an impromptu El Vaquero dinner. Thankfully, Laurie is good-natured and didn't seem to mind.

The late afternoon was beautiful and gave me the chance to revisit the scene of a pleasant childhood memory. My dad had taken Beth and me to Idle Hour one afternoon in the early 1960's when I was about seven and she, about five. Laurie told me that the park had been in a state of decline even then. My memory of the place is vague, but Laurie confirmed what I thought that I knew: we probably rode a merry-go-round and a swam in an immense pool - not much in the way of excitement by today's standards. However, Beth and I remembered our afternoon there for years to come as complete magic. More than likely, my fun Daddy provided most of the magic.

Today's walk was short and, though not especially magical, will yield its own good memories: a good friend, several good chuckles, and a sweet autumn afternoon.

Another Perfect Georgia Fall Day...oh, and Horses, Too

      Just a quick post to mark the end of a perfectly beautiful autumn day here on the piedmont.  Friends invited us to the Steeplechase at Callaway Gardens. Weather was great and so was the event. Enjoyed seeing the ponies, foxhounds, Jack Russell terriers, and, of course, the beautiful horses.  Nice way to spend the first Saturday in November.

Riding the Riverwalk Redux

Anna and I failed in our attempt at riding the Riverwalk this past July. If we had known that the Downtown YMCA loans its members bicycles (pretty nice ones, too), we could have ridden at no cost to us for two hours without the bike rack woes. There was no problem getting two bikes at 4:30 on a week-day. I wonder if Saturdays would be as easy.

Laurie and I have wanted to rent bikes at Ride on Bikes since late summer. We'll do that sometime soon, but chose the freebies today. Vowing to leave work by 4 (almost made it), in order to have time to ride before dark (kinda creepy down there in the shadows), we finally got a bike ride in before the time change.

We selected two sleek,  gazillion speed bikes and set off through downtown towards the river. The Y employees looked just a little bit uncertain about our safety as we headed down 11th Street. They should not have worried about us returning on our own steam, but some navigational tips might have helped us out. Apparently, the last time that I ventured south on the Riverwalk, coaxing balky, sweaty children to follow my lead, the new Trade Center wing had not been built. The trail doubles as a service drive behind the building, confusing me (never takes much!). After a slight false start we did find our way onto the trail and pedaled to South Commons before heading back. I know, I know! Not very far! (I have ridden as far as Oakland Park before!) But now we know the ways of the Riverwalk and we'll be back.

Canada Geese were out flying in formation, and some snacked on whatever delicacy they waded past near the river bank. A lone duck floated by, but the real prize sighting this afternoon was the beautiful Great Blue Heron poised directly below us on the bank. He posed and then took off, skimming across the river and casting his perfect reflection on the water on this overcast autumn day. Lovely. DRAT! I had to use my Blackberry's inadequate camera...would have been a really nice picture with the Canon. This one will have to do (double click on it for a better view).

Laurie and I agreed that biking the Riverwalk was a nice end to a weird Monday at work. We'll be back. With a better camera. Now that we know what's what.

Changing Lifestyles

May I just say, "UNCLE!"? For years I've needed to do something about my sedentary lifestyle and diet. If my shrinking clothes (Surely this is the reason I kept outgrowing them.)  did not serve as an adequate reminder of my backsliding, unhealthy ways, my well-intentioned mother's persistent prompts did refresh my memory each time I saw her.  
Not effective!


But now I am committed to a lifestyle change. What did the trick? Really, two long-term processes. Last year Fife was diagnosed with Meniere's Disease and has had Gout attacks for several years. Over the past year he has drastically changed his diet to control both conditions -- life-altering for him -- and very effective for weight loss. His positive response to dietary restrictions helped me begin to change my own diet (Thanks, Fife!). Then, for half of a year I followed a friend's professional blog  in which she reported her day-to-day experiences during her international exchange to Hungary and, in so doing, also documented her active, healthy lifestyle. Later, her simple encouragement for me to try Yoga and to become more active sealed the deal. (Yes, first I stubbornly argued that I couldn't do Yoga. Thanks, Jane!) Turns out that living examples are uncomplicated and effective motivators, if rarely noticed.

I'm loving learning Yoga (Also doesn't hurt that instructor Rodney Yee is a former ballet dancer.) and can't figure out why I was so resolutely opposed to trying it before (Could it be that I have a very hard head?).  For five days each week, I participate in some aerobic activity, and I am rehabing my diet. Another friend, a former aerobics instructor, has been coaching me on machines at the Y and has taught me how to use an exercise ball (thanks, Laurie!). Yet another friend shared her cabbage soup recipe and Yoga DVD recommendations (Thanks, Cindy!). What would I do without my gentle and generous friends?

Try these tasty, filling, low fat, low carb, low salt, meatless Eggplant Stacks (thanks, again, Jane). Sandwich low-fat Swiss cheese, greek oregano, green onions, tomatoes, basil, grilled portabello mushrooms, and roasted bell peppers between grilled eggplant slices (brushed lightly with olive oil) and bake until heated through.

Now that I've blogged my resolutions, I have no choice but to be committed to them. Can't lose face. :D

Sometimes my stubborn persistence can be a good thing.

And, persist I will.

Hold me to it, friends.

Worth the Wait

Continuing a long-standing tradition, last night my group of six friends celebrated the semi-recent birthday of one of our group. My final thought before falling asleep was simple: bliss! Good food, good wine, good conversation, fragrant lilies, terrific friends, and even a wee bit of technology (took a moment to watch Operation Migration's Crane Cam); does anyone need much more? Coordinating a time for our busy group of to be together is never easy.

This time seemed especially challenging - our schedules were filled with travel (Istanbul, New York, California, Florida, South Carolina), family events (weddings, birthdays, funerals, house guests), and work (seminars, late office nights, broken water heaters). Pictured to right: Gail and Paula.

But, we are a persistent bunch, we like to have fun, and a missing friend was not an option. When we finally did meet tonight, certainly, it was worth the wait. We always enjoy each other's company and usually laugh a little bit too loudly to suit any of our mothers. Tonight was no exception. I think that most of us would agree: we should celebrate more often, even if it means invented birthdays.

For Carole's birthday/wine tasting, I hosted the meal and designated Syrah (Shiraz in Australia) as the wine varietal for our study. We had quite the spectrum: a 2006 Ravens Wood Petite Syrah (Sonoma), a South Australian Sparkling Shiraz - Naked on Skates (yes, it created the most interest!), a 2006 Canterbury Vineyards Syrah - Bell - from the Sierra foothills, and Windmill Estates 2003 Syrah from Lodi, California. While we did have a wine rating scale available for comparing aromas, colors, flavors, tanins, complexities, and finishes, we ignored that protocol and savored each. All were good...and different.

Top Left: Cindy

Top Right: Diane

Bottom Center: the Birthday Girl Herself - Carole and Sarah Beth's Preserves - memories of shared good times in NYC, 2000!

You may enjoy reading the menu, taken directly from Sunset magazine (August, 2008). The only change that I made was the addition of asparagus and rolls...oh, and Gail's wondrous cheese pumpkin. Here's the video. (Thanks to Tiffany Broda for helping me refind video editor in Blogger!)

Visitor's Gifts

We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.

e.e. Cummings

Last week my husband and I hosted my former professor and advisor from Valdosta State, Dr. Jane Zahner, in our home for a couple of nights. Jane was in town for the COMO conference where she promoted the VSU Instructional Technology programs and demonstrated her Off Off Campus blog during her professional blogging presentation.


In most paradigms, hosts dispense hospitality to guests: a gift. Unquestionably, Fife and I were the true gift recipients, not she. To my delight, she entertained us with stories of seasonal cats, coyote-dogs, her Hungarian exchange, and the upcoming whooping crane migration, but she also listened, laughed, and came down on the right side of some of my hot-button topics. Gracious to include me in her presentation, she also gave seasoned advice and technical support for my own presentation, while cheering me on and calming my illogical, but serious, jitters. Even better, she validated my work on a big project, gave thoughtful ideas for promoting it to possible publication, and agreed to share her valued feedback on its revision: each a durable gift with transformative power.

What a joy it was to share the wit and wisdom of this fascinating, fearless, and generous woman for a few days. . . and what a gift to continue learning from her.

Wobbling Towards Job Satisfaction

The part of my job that I love, the part that feels like I was SO born to do this -- working with students -- sinks to the bottom of the to-do list for too many days at the start of every school year. I have always dreaded and found unsettling the necessary beginning of the year tasks, especially creating a workable weekly therapy schedule and completing due process work to place new students. During these first few weeks every year, my job satisfaction dips, and I must continually remind myself that despite the bumpy start to every year, I really do love my job and will feel competent again...any day now!

No matter how bad the day, how wobbly the start, or how unsettling changes at work may be, one constant for me is the camaraderie I find there. I work with a wonderfully supportive group of gloriously independent, smart, and talented colleagues. We got together this week-end to celebrate one group member's milestone birthday (don't have permission to tell which milestone). If any of us thought about the downside to our professions, no one let on to it: we laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Laurie's surprise party provided an opportunity to celebrate not only a birthday, but special friendships.

So, thanks, Laurie, Jackie, Wynn, Tiffany, Susan, and Becca* for reminding me of what is important about why we go to work each day: to give something of ourselves to others.

*Retirees, especially those who volunteer at school, are included!!