For the past 40 years my parents' core group of eight couples has celebrated Friday nights together - usually eating at a local restaurant and later gathering at one couple's home for dessert. They have also traveled together frequently: Europe, Yellowstone, Alaska, Sea Island, and assorted cruises. More than dining and traveling companions, they are, of course, close lifetime friends. The children of the group also formed friendships, and some of us refer to our parents collectively as the Friday Nights.First Henry, and then Bill, Ross, and David passed away, leaving four widows who have formed a sub-group. As adult children, we have had a hard time saying goodbye to each of these Friday Nights. At the funerals when our eyes have met, I have seen my own unspoken fear reflected back to me.
Early this first day of 2010, my mother (far right) called with the news that Betty (second from left) had died an hour earlier - another victim of Alzheimer's Disease. A few days ago Mother visited Betty at the nursing home, as she has done faithfully during the course of this disease. This morning she described her old friend to me: vibrant, sweet, smart, and an excellent mother to her bright, independent children. My mother grieved her lively friend but released her suffering friend - modeling friendship for me: love, faithfulness, and grace.
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Another good story. Nowadays it seems that friendships are merely temporary and relationships simply come and go. Someday my child will write about "Daddy's" Facebook friendships....those imaginary ones. lol
ReplyDelete40 years IS a long time to sustain such deep friendships! However, I do think that new media/communications allows people to get to know each other pretty well over distance, and, in some cases, even more intimately than IRL (in real life). While Facebook exchanges most often seem superficial, I think that friends might share more of themselves in written virtual contexts, such as blogs,discussion groups, and emails, than IRL. However, virtual friendships win hands-down in the shared good times category!
ReplyDeleteI can confirm what you are saying by citing one close example: when I was in Uzbekistan for a year in '94-'95, Dad pecked away at the keyboard in order to send lots of e-mails to me. yes, we had e-mail accounts then! I think we also shared some stories and remarks that we wouldn't have been able to in person. so, it worked for us. good points.
ReplyDeleteExcellent example! And, Allen, you were an EARLY adopter of technology!
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